Keeping the Romance alive in a Marriage

October 12, 2016 2 comments

The early stages of a relationship are always very exciting.

It’s the time that you’re getting to know someone new. You're trying out new activities that will help the two of you bond over new hobbies and challenges. And you're finding ways to connect with someone that you’re curious about.

Real life tramples romance 

The relationship blossoms as the romance builds. And we fall deeply in love, and dream of a future that is filled with flowers and jewelry, affection and seduction.

We expect an eternal love affair, but then real life starts to kick in. 

We move in together, get married and have kids, the whole nine yards. And some of us forget to show our partners how much we treasure them.

Why this happens...

It’s not an ideal situation. But it’s something that often happens because of bills piling up, work taking over our weekends, and putting our energy into caring for the kids that haven’t quite figured out how to care for themselves just yet.

For many people, romance isn’t commonly associated with long-term relationships or marriage. For the most part, Rinatta Paries from The Baby Corner explains that it’s seen in the beginning of relationships. The claim is both flawed and true, depending on how you approach it and how you define the term.

Our ideas of romance come from romantic movies and books

The idea of romance stems from what has been portrayed in the media, mainly through romantic comedy movies and Nicholas Sparks’ film adaptations. Despite these being rather unique, they are often unrealistic situations, much like the video montage ‘If Relationships Were Like Movies’ featured on the online entertainment portal The Scene.

These films are filled with cheesy quotes, flash mobs, skywriting and huge diamond rings. They have shaped society’s view on the perfect relationship.

But they have also set us up for disappointment later on when we feel like the flames have died down. 

It's in the gesture!

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions when it comes to romance. Some people are hardwired to believing that passion derives from grand, sweeping gestures, while others find love in smaller, everyday situations. Much like the concept of love that comes in many variations, romance isn’t bound by a singular definition. But the one thing that unites romance in all its forms is the feeling that comes from that gesture.

Moonlit walks on the beach and fancy dinner dates aren’t the only way to keep the passion alive in your relationship. 

Even a 10-second liplock over a quick peck on the cheek every now and then can do wonders in reigniting that fire. As marriage counselor Ellen Kriedman, PhD, shares with Parents Magazine, “One says, ‘I love you,’ but the other says, ‘I’m still in love with you.”

Remember: actions do speak louder than words. 

Being swept off your feet is all relative. A home cooked meal and a foot massage can amount to a weekend getaway on a remote island without the kids. Because both show how much you appreciate your partner.

It’s important to remember that the little things count in a relationship, and that these daily efforts go a long way in a successful, lifelong marriage. 

There are unlimited ways to remind your spouse why you still love him, and vice versa.

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