Don’t call me, I’ll email you

I can’t stress this enough: ‘The best way to get in touch with me is through email.’

He or she who feels the need to pick up a phone and call me, will not catch me at my best. The necessity to reply instantly and adequately stumps me, and leaves me a blabbering fool who agrees to just about anything, and then regrets it.

So obviously I am not a fan of the mobile phone. Because of this modern torture device people can find you anywhere, even if you don’t want to be found.

Like last Thursday morning, when I was out shopping, trying on a dress just as my mobile started ringing. Quickly I tried to pull the dress over my head, and started scrabbling around my purse. Of course as soon as I finally found it, it defiantly stopped ringing.

‘What a relief, now I don’t have to answer the phone,’ I thought. But only too soon relief was replaced with anxiety, because what if that was school, trying to tell me the kids had an accident?!

With sweaty hands I started pushing buttons, trying to remember how to listen to my messages. My six year old has explained it to me lots of times.

Finally I found the right combination of numbers, and heard the electronic voice of my provider: ‘You have 0,01 cents left.’ The cent I had just wasted calling my voicemail.

When I got home I checked my emails and took my time forming eloquent and intelligent replies, thereby giving the impression of a cool, calm and collected woman.

And as long as you don’t call me, no one can prove otherwise.

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