Do as I say, not as I do!

11
The kids are playing outside all the time. They look filthy as pigs, but who cares. Right now they're shooting a movie featuring my youngest son Piet as Indiana Jones, and my middle son Ot as the villain.

My mommy cup runneth over! They're using their imagination and getting lots of exercise in the great outdoors. They're not sitting passively behind computer- and tvs-creens, munching unhealthy snacks.

Could I wish for anything more?
I think not!

My work here is obviously done. So if anybody needs me, I'll be lying on the couch watching yet another rerun of Friends while crunching through a bag of potatoe chips. And afterwards, I'm thinkin: a game of Pacman?!
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What a job!

21
Today the complaints kept pouring in. My eldest daughter couldn't find her favourite skinny jeans, my husband was out of matching socks, my youngest son had to send out an APB for his lost shoe, and my youngest daughter slipped in a pool of lemonade, I hadn't had time to mop up yet.

I looked at them hopefully: would this mean I'ld finally get fired, and be able to get some rest? But noooo, after filing their complaints they all looked at me expectantly to come up with a solution. Sadly I could nót leave the premises covered in shame for poor performance.

So I sighed, got a mop, pulled the skinny jeans and socks out of the hamper, found the shoe that had gone awol, put a cast on my daughters leg and mopped the floor.

What a job: 24-hour shifts, seven days a week, and no chance of getting fired.
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They said it couldn't be done. And they were right

17
Experienced knitters frowned worriedly, when I triumphantly told them about the SuperEasy Poncho Pattern I had found: a big rectangle with a hole in it.
'Even I can do thís!' I bragged.
'Are you sure?' they asked. 'It doesn't even look like a poncho, now does it.'

And they were right: because at the end of my pattern, I am the sad owner of an odd shaped piece of fabric, with a whole lot of holes and odd corners. The holes and corners are my own personal touches. But no matter how I twist and turn the thing, I can't see a poncho in it. Let alone make one of it.

So there goes my succesfull knitting career down the drain! It's a pity though. Because knitting is supposed to calm the nerves. And after all that stupid knitting I could really use something to calm me down.

Perhaps I should take up crocheting?
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I'm a featurette!

6
A big thank you for featuring me on Friendly Friday!

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Like mom, like cake

14 Read More »

The proper care and feeding of husbands

20
According to my mom, and Dr. Laura, author of the book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands,men are basically very easy to manage. Just throw enough sex and food their way, and they're content.

The first time my mother threw this advice at me I was a bit shocked. Mostly because it concerned Sex, and second of all because I felt it was a bit demeaning to men. But when I told my hubby about my mom's advice, he smiled happily and said: 'She's got a point!'

So now, whenever I want to to give my hubby a treat, I put on this fancy negligé and some high heels. And then I totter to the kitchen and I bake him a pot roast.

Because I like my eight hours a night.
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Portrait of me after the kids' Summer Vacation

7
'They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa,
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa.
To the happy home. With trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket
weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're
coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!

I cooked your food, I cleaned your house, and this is how you pay me back
for all my kind unselfish loving deeds... Huh??'
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How can I miss you, if you won't go away?

6
'How can I miss you if you won't go away,' Eldon Hunt wondered, and I belted along in total agreement.

Now that the kids have finally left for school, I can feel how much I miss them in the blissful silence of an empty house. Suddenly I remember how much I love them, as I sip my coffee without interruptions, or little voices shouting: 'Mommy, he looked at me funny!'

I hope they won't be back for a while, so I can miss them some more.
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Life with hubby...

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Glasses

9
This post has its own personal sponsor!

I've always had a love-hate relationship with my glasses. No strike that: I've always had a hate relationship with them.

On the one side there's my vanity: I can't help but feel my glasses make me less attractive. On the other side is my laziness: glasses are só easy: you put them on and off you go! Contacts require much more effort, and a hand-eye coordination I do not possess.

During Summer Vacation laziness beat vanity, but now that the kids are in school, vanity has staged a come-back and I'm having a flirt with contacts again!

Whát's that on the black board?!

When I was ten years old, the words on the black board started getting blurry, and the school doctor said I needed glasses. I thought things were looking bad, but a year later I also got a pair of braces that wrapped around my head, turning me into an Ugly Betty avant la lettre! Suddenly my glasses were the least of my worries.

Glasses reflect the fashions of times gone by

When I look back at pictures of myself with my eyeglasses, I can't help but smile. You can easily tell which decennium the pictures were taken, just by looking at my frames. During the eighties I wore big frames, and in the nineties they were really small. Right now I'm sporting so called 'nerd glasses'. I'm going for the look that says: 'Don't be fooled by these glasses! I'm real sexy underneath them!'

Buying a new frame is kind of fun, and they come in all different kinds of shapes and prizes. Unfortunately the fun usually stops when you have to buy the glasses that go into the frame. That's when it starts getting expensive. So I was excited when I found GlassesUSA.com, a company that prides itself on a 110% lowest prices guarantee, and a 100% satisfaction guarantee.

Virtual mirror on the wall, which frame is the prettiest of them all?

One of the challenges of buying a pair of glasses, is that you need a pair of glasses to see how they look! It's hard to really judge how they look without 20/20 vision! Glasses USA have thought of that: they offer a virtual mirror, that allows you to try on different looks, after which you can buy the prettiest pair of glasses online.

I've got a coupon for that!

You can save 10% when you order glasses at Glasses USA, with the code Mommy10. Want to get two pairs of glasses, for the price of one pair? Then use this code: Back2School. Or use the code Trans25 to take $25 off any order of glasses with Transitions lenses.

Help me out: do you think glasses make a person less attractive?
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Feedback Junkie

14
I'm a feedback junkie. Which is unfortunate, because I'm a mom. Moms don't usually get much feedback, except when things go wrong.

Like when you have the audacity to skip doing the laundry for óne day, then the feedback starts pouring in. 'Where are my socks, Mom?! Didn't you do my laundry?!' and 'Honey, I can't find any clean underwear, so I'll just wear these another day. You can hardly see the skid marks!'

Luckily I have found a way to feed my longing for some kind words, through blogging. And I'm very happy to report that I was featured by Cindy on Blogginghints, and Kim gave me The Versatile Blogger award.

I would like to thank...

So I would like to take a moment to thank my mom, who gave birth to me. To my dad who helped create me, to all my teachers, my old neighbours, the woman at the cash registry at our local supermarket, the president, my hubby and my kids.

I'm sure I could have done it without you, but I appreciate your input.

Strings attached: seven things about me

Unfortunately there are some strings attached to The Versatile Blogger award. I have to share seven things about me, which kind of sucks, because quite frankly, I'm all shared out. But I do want my reward, because I've already created space in my Award Cabinet. So here goes:

I'm a mom, I love chocolate, I run to keep my mental balance, I'm worried the kids gave me cooties, I love French Fries, I can't wait for the kids to go to school again and I love getting awards! So there you have it!

Now I have to give this award to 15 (!!!) other bloggers, which is a bit much if you ask me. I do have a lot of laundry to do after all. So I'll do 7!

I pass the Versatile Blogger Award on to:

Mommasaid.net
Blogginghints
I've become my parents
Debbie Does Coupons
My Dishwasher is possessed
Spongemom Stretchpants
Jennifer James Online

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Mommy Calculus

10
My sons Pete is very loud. I think his shouting means he's got a surplus of energy. So if I make sure his energy levels go down, he should shout less! I put my thinking cap on and came up with this brilliant mathematical equation:

Pete has got to much energy (A) - he's very loud (B). In other words: A = B!
Pete has less energy (C) - Pete is not so loud, or C = nót B!


I'm certain Einstein would be real proud of me!

All I have to do now, is make sure Pete gets rid of his surplus of energy. So I threw in some variables like biking a ten miler, and an hour of judo lessons. But I must have miscalculated somewhere, because it did not work. He wasn't even a little bit tired, and still very loud.

Now I've got a whole new calculation: A + B equals D: one very fed up mom.
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Be careful what you wish for!

13
For years I wished my eldest son would take more of an interest in appearance.

He just threw on the nearest shirt and pants he could find on the floor, and his hair was so fat, you could easily fry an egg in it. And two sausages.

I should have known better! Because doesn't the saying ominously warn: 'Be careful what you wish for, you might get it!' Well, I 'got' it alright. Nowadays my son takes great care applying his black eyeliner, and adding thick blobs of black eye shadow. The genie has left the bottle, and I got my wish: my son takes an interest in his appearance.

So now I'm desperately rubbing an empty bottle of mineralwater, in the hopes of getting the genie back ín the bottle mumbling: 'I take it back, I take it back!
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Time-out!

17
I was taking a shower, enjoying some peace and quiet. Then my eldest son ran in, with barely concealed glee, brandishing a note. The note read: 'Fuk'.

'Mommy! That's the word daddy said! I wrote it down so I could show you, because we're not allowed to use thóse words!'
I frowned sternly, partly because because it's hard to raise kids, if you also have to teach your hubby some manners. And partly because of his bad spelling!

'How much punishment should daddy get?' my son asked joyfully. But before I could give him my verdict he added: 'How old is daddy?'
'Fortysix!'
'So daddy should get a time-out of 46 minutes!' and he thundered down the stairs to give my husband the good news.

it just goes to show: giving a time-out by way of punishment is very useful.

It's just a pity our kids are handing them out to ús.
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Odd habits

12
Everyone has them: odd habits.

Mine is to take a giant leap every time I want to lie me down to sleep. I start out in the hall way, push off in our bedroom, and jump with all my might into our bed.

I háve to do this, you understand. Otherwise the monster beneath our bed, will grab my feet and pull me under!

What's your special habit?
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Nót based on true events

16










Dramatised picture

Wordless Wednesday
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You wanna see my panties?!

14
I found some realy cute panties that were on sale. Only 40 cents a piece!

They have useful sayings on them I would like my husband to read:

 'Turn back while you still can!' , 'All I want for Christmas is a good night's sleep!' and  'Don't mess with the panties'.

But now I find myself wanting to lift up my skirt in public, while shouting: 'Look at my new panties!' I have become a danger to propriety. I blame Summer Vacation. And spending too much time with the kids.

I really need a break. Perhaps I should take a trip to London.
I hear they have some lovely panties over there.
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