Why? Because.

I was sitting at the therapist's office with my eldest son. He was diagnosed with PDD-NOS when he was eleven, and when he hit puberty he had some trouble remembering the meaning of life.

Of course I tóld him what the meaning of life was, but he wasn't impressed. So I took him so see a therapist to help him see the light. Unfortunately the therapist thought it was a good idea if I sat in on their sessions. So there I sat, my toes curling in my Uggs with discomfort, while listening to their stilted conversation.

'Well Jan, how are you doing?'
'Fine.'
'How do you mean 'fine'?
'Just fine.'
'Why 'fine'?
'Because.'

'Jan, I can't read your mind, because I'm not clairvoyant! So you have to meet me halfway. How do you feel about that?'
'Fine.'
'How do you mean 'fine'?
'Just: 'fine'!'
'Why 'fine'?'
'Because.'

I felt like shaking my son and screaming: 'Show some cooperation! You're embarassing me.'
But then suddenly, the therapist turned to me and asked: 'Why are you being so hard on yourself?'
Immediately I felt the prickling of tears, because it's true: I'm constantly being bullied by myself.

'Is it warm in here?' I thought, feeling all hot and bothered, while I wrecked my brain for the right answer. In the end I couldn't think of anything else to say but: 'Because.'

And I looked at my son with a sudden, new understanding.